Image: By Baldomer Gili i Roig - https://www.flickr.com/photos/46958463@N06/8553343931/, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=41988685
I recently posted a “goodbye” post on my old Blogger account, and I’m moving to writing over here exclusively.
This feels like the right move- as I’ve written in my “about” page, Substack tends to have the type of content that got me interested in pursuing writing in the first place. The essays I’ve written over there that I want to revisit or save I’ve been slowly moving over here.
There’s a couple pieces that I researched and wrote for other publications that I no longer own, but still would like to be able to easily share. Without a less awkward way to integrate them over here, I suppose a link post is in order.
All of them have to do with things I’ve researched or processed in the aftermath of experiencing sexual abuse by a member of the clergy. Not the most cheerful of subjects, but useful if you’re interested in researching that sort of thing.
Please note that this isn’t a recommendation of any of the outlets that published these pieces or in any way a statement that I agree with the other stuff they choose to publish: this is who agreed to accept these particular pieces at the time.
For those who followed me over here from my old blog, this is probably all stuff you’ve seen before. I’ve got new stuff in drafts that I’m currently working on, I promise!
Recognizing the Red Flags of Clerical Abuse
Just as in the vast majority of cases of sexual abuse or exploitation, abusive priests spend a fair amount of time grooming their intended targets (and often the family and close friends of their targets) by bending and breaking societal, personal, and emotional boundaries long before they break any physical ones. This usually isn't an overnight process, but takes place over the course of weeks, or even months or years.
A piece I wrote for CatholicMom.com. A resource on how to recognize the warning signs of clerical abuse (particularly of adults) before it happens.
When Abuse Occurs in a Sacramental Context
I am a survivor of sexual assault by a priest in the confessional, in the context of attending the Sacrament of Penance; and I am married to someone who attended seminary during the years following the revelations of the sexual abuse crisis in the Diocese of Boston. At no time in my dealings with the diocese where the abuse occurred, in my research in trying to understand the full scope of what happened to me, or in my conversations with my husband about what priestly formation in the shadow of the abuse crisis entailed have I come across evidence of any contemporary discussion of this aspect of sexual abuse in the Church.
A piece I wrote for Crisis Magazine about a neglected aspect of how the Church addresses (or doesn't address but should) abuse that takes place in a sacramental context.
God Heals Through Our Vocation
My faith life was, strictly speaking, functional, but I wanted more than mere functionality for my children. It was too late for me to have any sort of personal or intimate relationship with God, but perhaps it wasn’t for them. They didn’t have the scars that I did: maybe they would be able to hear the voice of God and sense His presence where I couldn’t.
A piece I wrote that talks about some of the spiritual aftermath of abuse, and how healing from that began for me.
Separating the Weeds from the Wheat
There wasn’t much to describe, I was very sexually inexperienced and naive at the
time, but it always made me deeply uncomfortable that I was asked to go into explicit detail. I never thought that his motives for asking were in question though-- after all, isn’t spiritual growth and being held accountable supposed to be uncomfortable?
[NOTE: this is where I describe specific details about my assault, so…caveat emptor].
This is the first thing I ever published on the subject, and it’s my story as I understood it at the time. You have to sign up for a FemCatholic account to access it, which is annoying, but it’s still free to read at the moment. This piece is one I might re-write for this space at some point.